I've Come to Take You Home

OK. I am home. I am in Brooklyn, safe and sound, feeling like I never left. And feeling completely different. I had a nice easy trip home, despite a random search which ended well because I had Fenerbahce (go Fenerbahce!) soccer memorabilia in my bag. I did lose (lose??) my hairdryer in the multiple searches of my bags. I suppose that isn't bad and it had a European plug anyway.

So, I had my State Department Oral Assessment (OA) in DC on Friday. This was not my Turkish exam - that is a month away. I had no jet lag which was really helpful as this is a killer "interview" - I got there at 7am and left at 4pm. I did lose my head for a bit the day before and put a paper bag with my bagel and full cup of coffee in my handbag with all my application papers. The damage was not too excessive, luckily. I blame it on the fact that I have not been able to walk around with coffee on a regular basis for some time, so of course I forgot I had a cup with me. Maybe?

Anyway, I took this OA thing which is the monster final exam that gets you into the Foreign Service and hallelujah, I passed again. This is a major relief as it buys me a LOT of time to continue with Turkish. IF I do not pass my Turkish test at the end of the month, I will have another chance to take it again in 6 months time. I would not have had that option if I didn't pass the OA on Friday. And, as it was why I came back home from Istanbul, I feel sort of efficient. Like, OK, came back for this, check, next thing. Which is find some work. Which is go to jury duty. Which is head to Cape Cod and pick up the bulk of my belongings. Which is continue studying Turkish....

Well, all or any of you out there,thanks for spending some time with me in Turkey. I really enjoyed myself and don't think my time there is over. I can still feel the pull, I really can...

Gule Gule - Melissa

Slow Whirlwind

OK, I am in my last few days here and my head is always spinning. Everything I still want to learn is number one, followed by what I still want to see. Jessica is visiting right now, so the seeing is happening easily enough. Ah, but the learning.

It is falling into place but fast enough, I am not sure. I really don't know. My tutor is great and is helping me stay focused on what I need for the exam itself without trying to learn all things Turkish. The good news is that I love this language - I really do. It is just so cool and logical. Give me a few more years and I know I can get it down.

So I come back this Tuesday. Yes, this Tuesday. Am I allowed to continue writing about my experiences when I am not actually here? Hm. Like this surreal moment when Jessica was looking at t-shirts at the outdoor market in Kadikoy, on the Asian side. She liked this cartoon-y one that had a guy in a tank with the words "Go to Pub" under it. When she put it down for just a moment, it was snatched up... by a woman in a chador. It just didn't make sense and was hilarious.

K, then, just wanted to put something up so no one would worry. I am fine. I am busy. I am nervous. I don't quite want to leave, but have to return for my next State Department interview next Friday. Oh and I just found out that I have jury duty in Brooklyn on April 5th. Slow whirlwind...

And In the End

OK, well time is passing. I hate to think in these terms but, alas, I am entering the last few weeks. And I and keep thinking that they are the last few weeks. I need to think about I still want to do, and what I can still do. And yes, I must still make room for fun.

Well, I stopped the course. No, I didn't advance to Level 4 though that does sound impressive, even to me. Or maybe it is just to me that sounds impressive. Anyway, I decided to concentrate on just what I need for my State Department telephone test and rid myself of the static that I got being in class. Also we had headed into somewhat ridiculous grammar drills land... "the man that had taken my mother's suitcase and brought it to the room was not interested in any of the football teams in the city." Sentences like that. Sentences I could write perhaps but not sentences I could speak. And I also realized that I just get too interested in the other people in the class. I get so curious about them all and would daydream a little during those four hours. And the other students were often funny which I really enjoyed, but also conjured up more than a little anxiety.

So, in an effort to get really serious, I have taken myself out of that maybe too social place and am now studying in semi-isolation. It has been a week so far and I know that this has been the right move. Less fun? Absolutely. More productive? Sure. For one, I have spent more time with my Turkish friends, particularly my friend Gokhan who doesn't speak much English. Talking with him is great though exhausting sometimes. And I apparently make up words, or so he says. As these words aren't in the dictionary, I guess he is right. Gokhan lives near me and is cool meeting for tea or even just a walk by the Bosphorus. I am really really lucky to have found him.

I have also met with the first Italian Veronica (from class) three times to study together. That has been great. We talk our Turkish together for hours, and have elicited laughter from neighboring tables, if we are studying at a cafe. I also have met with my tutor Ozlan who is just fabulous. She coached my friend who also went through this State Department process successfully about 6 months ago and has the best ideas and exercises for me. Plus she talks to me really quickly. OK, maybe it is normal speed and if I stare really hard at her, I can understand her. We seem impressed with each other so far.

So, here is a story. Today Veronica and I were studying in Beykoz, near my house, and were sitting at a picnic table near the seaside. It was gorgeous and sunny today, and we were reading a story in one of her books about how calm and quiet Ankara is. Veronica then mentioned that a fight had broken out behind me. I turned around and noticed that the fifteen or so young men who had congregated earlier behind us were indeed holding back two guys. Besides these guys, we were the only ones on this mini-pier. Next, one of the guys held up a big kitchen knife above his head, threatening the other guy. Veronica remarked rather simply that it seemed dangerous. Yep, a guy brandishing a big old kitchen knife did seem a bit dangerous to me as well. So we quietly walked away from it from the weird scene, but we were really laughing immediately afterwards... Something about reading this story about peaceful Ankara and then her "dangerous" comment struck us as really, really funny. Please, parent types out there - don't worry. Honestly, it is safe here and I am safe.. despite potential drug smugglers in my train cabin and knife-wielding hotheads. So I guess I got a little dose of excitement. A little one.

K, Spencer is here in Istanbul, on business, and it is time for me to go meet him in his swank hotel. I stayed in said swank hotel last night, which was fabulous. Had my own bathroom. And while I do not believe that anyone needs 6 pillows on his bed, I can't say I mind it at all. I hope we do get out though and see some of Istanbul. So far I know he hasn't experienced any of it, really. It is possible to be in this place, for days even, and not ever really see it. Strange.

Out Post

Just a quick little post here from Greece... I am in Thessaloniki at a posh little cafe with a few minutes before my train leaves to take me home. Funny that Istanbul feels like home but it really does. I was going to stay here for one more day but I thought about my house and really wanted to get back there. Plus it is so SO much more expensive here. I am not so into the euro, really.

Well, leaving Istanbul has really given me some perspective. This city, the second largest in Greece, feels very European. And its Europeanness points again to the fact that Istanbul does not feel European to me. What that means exactly I am not sure. What is European? OK, this cafe is European - the lighting fixtures, the furniture, the cappucinos. But I think I could find a cafe that looks like this in Istanbul but somehow it would be different. I guess I need to think on this more.

I was going to write that this trip has been uneventful but that is not exactly true. On the way here I was in a sleeper car with a woman who struck me as a bit odd. I was NOT happy about sharing my cabin as I was convinced I would have the wagoncar to myself. I complained and complained to my Turkish friend Gokhan who had walked me to the station. The sleeper train was very, very comfortable and quite nicely designed... even had a little sink with a mirror - nice touch. The ride was about 13 hours and I slept a good 7 of that. So, anyway, when I arrived, there was this woman as in my car. She was a young black woman, maybe 25 or so, wearing really tight clothes. One of the first things she did was take out a handful of her hair extensions and just held onto them for awhile. Huh. She had the largest suitcase I have ever seen... the kind they sell on 14th Street. She claimed that she was transporting it for her sister who just had a baby. Weird as she said she was from France - so why the suitcase? And she seemed confused when I asked how long she had been in Istanbul. She was odd with all of her answers, so I was particularly careful in not leaving my bag when I went out to the bathroom. Plus there was zero security at the station - surprising as they have metal detectors at all the malls and metro stations. Once the train started up, this woman called someone and said "We are moving" and that was it. And she said it in English... why not French?? All strange.

Anyway, when we got to the border, the Turkish police were not happy with her passport that was actually from the Congo. The signatures did not match when they had her sign something. So they took her and her giant bag off the train... they had searched the bag on the train and I was curious too, so I looked down from my berth.. just looked like clothes in there. Anyway, the train steward came in and removed the bedding.. I tried to explain that she was in the station - apparently he knew that. Next the police came in and removed the cushions and pulled back the metal walls. Basically they ripped the cabin apart but did not find anything. I just stood there, trying to not be in the way. I was in the way though, I think. They did not touch my stuff. Never saw the woman again - wonder what was up there.

K, time to go to the RR station. Hopefully I will get a cabin to myself this time or at least a more normal person. Fingers crossed.

Safe European Home

Oh dear. I didn't mean to be away for so long. I am not sure what happens, but times flies. Or stands still. Or just passes with no reliable internet connection in sight.

Last Friday was Zeynep's birthday. She is the one by herself in the photo (taken by the German hiker), next to the photo of Ataturk and the Turkish flag. Every house or office must have a photo of Ataturk, founder of the modern Turkish Republic. My Dutch friend, the Iraqi and one of the other Germans are pictured with the chocolate & pistachio cake in the other photo. We threw her a little surprise party and she was really happy, I think. She said that in the four years that she has been teaching, she has never had a party thrown for her. This woman more than deserves a party. Every day I am amazed by how patient and fun and effective she is. Plus she is so careful and methodical without being really obvious.

So, yes, all continues well enough here. My class remains dominated by the competent Germans who have effectively beaten down my nemesis. Yes, the Germans really have taken over, imposing order and reason to the class. We now simply converse, answer the questions out of the book and well, learn. So much less wasted time. What a relief!

My nemesis and boyfriend did return from nearly a week in Prague but honestly, she no longer wields much power. My Dutch friend noticed it first, and I felt quite good to realize I am not alone in thinking this way. When Sarah did return, she remarked to me that I will truly amazed when I leave Istanbul to find how much easier and better other places are. Wow. She really is miserable here. Must be awful. I do wish she would just move to Europe though and be done with it. I must say, Turkey is many things but it is not Europe. It just isn't and I don't think it has any desire to be, really. That is a whole other subject, obviously.

So, yes, she has continued to miss class and I doubt she will move to the next level. Yesterday she and her boyfriend flew to London for a "much-needed English-language" long weekend. Have I mentioned that this woman says that she hopes to work in Rwanda and other trouble zones in the future? The same woman who complains about the number of "filthy cats" on the street? Doesn't seem to really know herself all that well.

So, yes, as you can see, the Iraqi has also returned to class. He was on a ski holiday with his family. OK, why didn't I see that coming? Iraqis on ski holidays?? I should have noticed that he does wear a lot of Lacoste shirts. Alas my mind struggles under the burden of stereotypes. He is hosting a party tonight and I am debating on whether to attend. He does live close to me as the crow flies, but the crow doesn't have to navigate crossing the Bosphorus Strait at night.

On Thursday, I played hookey from school as it was a gorgeous sunny day. It ended up being a great day to skip as it was the one beautiful day of the week and I found out we didn't really cover all that much in class. Today, for example, it is raining and even snowing a little. So, on Thursday, I hiked up a hill to an old Genovese medieval castle in a town called Anadolu Kavagi, about 20 minutes away. Actually, first I inadvertently hiked up a big hill here in Beykoz, past a forbidden military zone. I past an old castle of sorts currently inhabited by gypsies. Weird. I stood in front of it for about 30 seconds deciding if I should have a closer look. After I saw some clotheslines with drying laundry and clusters of kids, I realized it was not a safe place necessarily. Though I don't know what they would do with me, the phrase "kidnapped by gypsies" kept running through my head. I then luckily caught a bus that took me to the castle town.

I walked around the castle for about 45 minutes, for which you could see the beginnings of the Black Sea. Gorgeous! It felt so secluded in a way, and so not city. Unfortunately the place was full of litter, including broken bottles. Somehow not uncommon. So often I think that Istanbul and maybe Turkey as a whole doesn't really care about tourism. I mean I know it does, but there are these anomalies. A beautiful spot full of rubbish, a place that would be relatively easy to patrol or at least clean every week or so. All it needed was maybe 10 people and half a day, and the place would be spotless. In a similar vein, I am really surprised how many of the big tourist sites have squatty potties - porcelain holes in the ground, basically. Usually they also require a small admission charge. Western-style toilets are almost everywhere but not in the tourist sites. Very very strange.

So, as I was coming down from the castle, I ran into all the tourists coming up. Apparently the Bosphorus tour boat had just arrived. I got lucky! I went down to the town and asked the tour boat guys if there was some other place I should visit nearby... I had been hoping to go to a town on the Black Sea, but they told me that the bus didn't go that way. Because I was speaking Turkish (I think), they offered me a a cup of tea. They let me come into the little ticket booth and we chatted. Honestly my life here is so much better here now that I can converse even a little in Turkish. When all the tourists came back after lunch, I even helped tear their tickets and get them onboard. Yes, I sorta became a ferry boat worker there - cute! They then introduced me to the guys on the boat (same company that runs my daily ferry) and asked if I wanted to go on the tour. Well, sure! Istanbul looks particularly beautiful for the water. So I then got to take the Bosphorus tour for free and spent 3 hours more practicing my Turkish. The secretary of the boat told me that I was the first American to ever talk to him. I just hate this about touring, the separation between the locals and the visitors. Of course language is a big part of it but it is also a class & cultural thing. They were all really nice and hospitable, and I always had either a cup of tea or glass of Nescafe in hand. I also learend quite a bit about the sites along the way.

When I got back to the main Istanbul terminal, I hung out a little longer in the break room, drinking even more tea. I have never drank so much tea in my life. Basically tea is a constant here, usually served in little hourglass-shaped glasses. Finally, I got on a boat headed back to Beykoz... I realized I had spent about four hours only speaking in Turkish. Quite a good day - one of my best to date I think.

Uber Alles

We have had a shift in our class. For some reason, my class is now mostly German, and most of these German speak Turkish quite well. One girl has a Turkish father who talks to her alot in Turkish, though she responds almost exclusively in German. One is a physicist who is interning with Greenpeace. He looks very German hiker. One is a very cool political science student at Bogazici University. One is very tan. We also now have a Greek Cypriot, a very sweet, very smart girl who speaks English with a pleasant English accent. She is also studying political science and Turkish studies in general. She had her bank card eaten by a bank machine yesterday and mentioned that if she had problems with money, she had no consulate here. Right.

So, that means that the Iraqi has disappeared, and my fake-sweet American nemesis and boyfriend have been missing for days. They went to Prague for a long weekend and I thought they were supposed to be back by now. Hm. Who knows? I am sure they will also be most surprised by the change in our class. We are somehow now higher level than before. I figure it might be like pool: sometimes you can improve your game by playing against better opponents. Here's hoping.

Yesterday I had to give a presentation in class. I chose the Fall of Constantinople (1452-3), hoping that everyone would know the basics as we all live here. The German environmentalist had done a presentation the day before on the Greenhouse Effect. The only part of his presentation I really understood was when he said that people were like tomatoes (domates gibi). Well, heck, I never really understood the Greenhouse Effect in English.

So, anyway, I had a whole long paragraph on how the Ottomans rolled their boats overland over oiled logs to get to the Golden Horn. The Byzantines had blocked the water route there with a large chain. Really fascinating stuff. However, I don't think anyone understood me at all. Totally blank faces. The hiker said he didn't understand. I asked him what he didn't understand and he said, well the whole thing. So I went to the board and tried to draw it. Zeynep (my fabulous teacher who I appreciate more and more every day) tried drawing it as well. It was like a painful game of Pictionary. I think Zeynep went in and out of understanding me. I wish I could have had a translated version of what I was saying. I think it might have been hilarious.

So, today is Valentines Day. Since Turkey isn't one for saints, it is called Lovers' Day here. Same red hearts, same fuzzy white bears. Oof ya!

Entertainment

This has been a big week for me, entertainment-wise. I went to two movies and one concert. OK, these outings weren't entirely successful, the movies in particular. However, I was entertained, in a way not expected.

Last Monday, my friend Sean and I had gone to Kadikoy, the kinda hip neighborhood on the Asian side (Anadolu Yakisi), and decided to go the movies. Turkey has a fairly large film industry, and foreign films, mostly American, are popular as well. I have noticed that any film with Jude Law will be shown here, no questions asked.

There were a number of theaters listed in my Time Out Istanbul (the Turkish version, a big step-up for me from the paltry English language version). When we got to the addresses, however, we were mostly greeted with construction sites. Strange. When we did get to the one theater that did exist, we decided against Holiday (with Jude Law). That left the zany, Turkish screwball comedy Americans in the Black Sea 2 (yes, the sequel) and a movie called Barda (In the Bar). Based entirely on the movie posters, we opted for Barda. The poster showed a photo of some young people listening to a band in a bar and some sinister faces above them. Looked like some kind of thriller, should be easy enough to follow.

Well, first off, I noticed that the sound in the theater was terrible. I couldn't understand the trailer for the upcoming Jude Law film, and that was in English. Problem var! (Turkish for "Houston, we have a problem.") Ah well. My understanding much of the Turkish seemed unlikely. I settled into the chair and figured I would just do my best. Sean, who is American, understands and speaks Turkish much better than I do, so I figured that I would hit him up for film details later.

Unfortunately, the film took a bad turn about 20 minutes in... seems this was a horror film, as in a torture film. With next to no plot development that I could see, the film became even more simple. Basically five very bad men who were on something came into a bar, took the five students who were there hostage and started torturing and/or killing them. I never like torture in movies, and can't even watch Reservoir Dogs for that reason. I would never ever ever see Saw 3, for example. Also, I got very nervous about how far this film might go. I sort of know the limits that American films have for graphic violence, but could Turkish movies be worse? Well, sure, could be. Also I did not need or want to have any of these images in my head for later, when I was alone, say. Later, when I looked it up, I read that the filmmaker was hoping to make the most violent film in Turkish film history. He may have succeeded; I will never know. I had to leave and Sean was more than cool with that. Later, thinking about it, it seemed strange that there were so many couples in there, many of the women in headscarves. Perhaps they left as well? I suppose I might be a bit off suggesting that women in headscarves might be more offended by a movie that depicted rape and torture than other women. I would hardly imagine it as a date movie, in any case.

On Wednesday, I decided to give Blood Diamond a try. It was playing at the big cineplex in Taksim, near my school. I took my pre-assigned seat (they assign seats here) and figured I would do my best to read the subtitles rather than listening to the English. However, when the film started, I noticed a shadow a few rows ahead of me. The fourth time I saw the shadow head on and yes, it was a huge rat, methodically running down the rows. I am not particularly frightened of rats, due to the high number I have already encountered in NYC, but it was just so wrong. I have not seen any rats here at all, perhaps surprisingly for a large city. As the rat moved towards the back of the theater, I felt compelled to do the same. I stood in the way back for awhile and eventually moved to a seat. However, the rat was working its way to the back of the theater as well, so I ended up standing against the wall again, craning my neck to see. All in all, I think I might have watched for the rat more than I really watched the movie. No one else in the theater noticed or perhaps cared about this nearly foot-long rat. I mentioned it to a Turkish friend last night at a dinner party, and he said, well, really what can you do? I like easy-going, but come on! Rat, maybe a rabid rat even, running under the seats, and you are just going to accept it?!! Really?!?

And in my Entertainment triumvarate, I saw Bonnie "Prince" Billy (aka Will Oldham, Palace) on Friday night at a fairly large municipal concert hall. Will Oldham is a singer/songwriter, fairly slow, from Louisville, Kentucky. I must say I was both surprised that he was playing in Istanbul and surprised that he was playing in a concert hall that is usually reserved for classical shows. I do like sitting down at shows, so that part was nice. However, the whole thing was just a bit too civilized for a rock show. Twice, Sean and I were asked by a male guard to stop talking. A female guard, who was wearing a nice dress, had the unfortunate job of asking people to shut their cellphones, even when they weren't talking on them. This was one very quiet concert. I thought the hall itself appeared very Soviet, but Sean, who spent some time in Bulgaria, assured me that it was not. Afterwards, we went backstage and talked to the band, as I have liked Will Oldham for a long time. This is a benefit of seeing someone really out of their element; going backstage is very easy and fairly normal. They had found the concert a bit strange as well. Will was tired (and had spent too much time at a Turkish bath that day) but meeting him was still interesting. One of the young guitarists was so impressed with Istanbul, he was considering moving here. This city really has this effect on people, right away. It is entrancing. We tried to explain it is a bit different than it appears at first, but I don't think these things can be explained; they need to be experienced.

So that is the latest here. Class is much more difficult, but good. We have an Iraqi in class. He stutters a little. He is from Baghdad originally, but now his family is split betweennow Jordan, Syria and Turkey. More on that later, perhaps. Now I need to get back to studying, of course.