No One Knows What It's Like...

Yesterday I took the ferry to Uskudar which is on the Asian side after visiting Suleiman's mosque and tomb. As I live on the Asian side of Istanbul in a seaside town called Beykoz, I have figured out exactly six ways to get home from the European side. Which method I choose depends mostly on the time of day and sometimes sımply on my preference: ferry/bus? bus/metro? ferry/funikular? Traffic is just awful here and I know I will post a long irate post on that subject in the very near future. In fact, I am amazed that is not where I am starting.

Anyway I sat on the wooden benches near a man who obviously had some kind of mental illness as well as physical ailments. When he walked he leaned very heavily from side to side. I also noticed that he had fairly large hands. So, he sat down by the window and when an older woman with a cane came up to our little group of seats, he emphatically offered up his seat. She turned him down. The boat started its 15 to 20 minute journey and once we were off, the man started to cry. Loudly. He wasn't wailing exactly but he was really sobbing... the kind of sobbing usually designated to a pillow. I realized that this was the first time that I had ever seen a man cry in public. I was uncomfortable. No one paid any obvious attention to him and I wondered if this was normal at all. These thoughts come to me often as to what is considered normal and why. Perhaps such things can't really be figured out in a foreign country. Only through decades in the U.S. do I know that a man crying in public is not considered normal.

Anyway, I fought my inclination to look his way and instead held my gaze on the little buffet and the waiter with the steady hand who was delivering little glasses of tea to ferrygoers, despite the tippy nature of the boat. After five minutes the man stopped sobbing and wiped away his tears with the back of his large hand. It is Bayram in Istanbul, which is linked religiously with Ramadan and socially with the New Year celebration. So I figured he was crying because he was alone during the holidays. Hopefully his short fit helped him feel just a little better. The holidays can be a little tough for all of us.